Why are we so terrified of being bored?
Why do we always need to be stimulated, distracted in some way?
What is it we’re trying to distract ourselves from?
“All of man’s troubles come from not knowing how to sit still, alone in a room.”
Blaise Pascal
We didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. We’ve grown accustomed to constant stimulation and distracting entertainment. Cooking, cleaning, training, working – we have automated these things and more, to the point where we can have our basic needs met at the push of a button.
We told ourselves it was a good thing. We convinced ourselves that convenience and automation were good for us. That the less time we have to spend on the necessities of daily living, the more time we could spend on more fulfilling activities like art and leisure.
If that were the case, wouldn’t we be more content by now?
Avoiding boredom creates anxiety
“For a delight in bustling about is not industry – it is only the restless energy of a hunted mind.”
Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
Instead of contentment, what we’re seeing is rampant anxiety.
The same forces that have made our lives more convenient have ushered in a new neurosis of novelty. We’d rather order food to be dropped off at our house than invest an hour into cooking. We scroll endlessly on social media for a hit of satisfaction, ignoring the fact that such technology has been purposefully designed like a slot machine to keep us addicted to our screens.
What started out as a luxury has quickly turned into a necessity. We can’t handle boredom anymore. As soon as that feeling creeps in and our skin starts to crawl, we scramble for a means to keep it at bay. Our aversion to boredom compels us to keep ourselves busy with uninspiring activities. We scroll, we consume, we distract – we do anything we can to avoid boredom.
We fail to realize that the more we do this, the more the neurosis infects us. The more we distract ourselves and seek those quick hits of pleasure, the less we’re able to handle monotony. We start to see boredom as the disease, when really it’s our aversion to it that’s making us sick.
Avoiding boredom prevents mastery
“Most people can’t handle boredom. That means they can’t stay on one thing until they get good at it. And they wonder why they’re unhappy.”
50 Cent, The 50th Law
Beyond anxiety, our aversion to boredom compels us to run away from any tedious work. We’ve been so coddled with instant gratification that we think everything in life should be readily available.
How could we not? Social media constantly bombards us with pictures and videos of successful people who have already made it. We love to showcase our successes while ignoring the reality of the work, the blood, sweat, and tears required for genuine success.
We’ve lost our taste for the pursuit of happiness. We’ve forgotten the reality that any prize is only satisfying when we earn it. When we sit down and do the work, when we push through challenges and actually fight for it – only then is the prize worth winning.
The cure: start embracing boredom in work and life
“These entertainments have a faster pace than the time we spend at work. Work then is experienced as something boring – slow and repetitive. Anything challenging, requiring effort, is viewed the same way – it’s not fun; it’s not fast… Life becomes divided between what is necessary (time at work) and what is pleasurable (distractions and entertainment).”
Robert Greene, The 50th Law
The more we flee from boredom and tedious work, the bigger a dichotomy we create in our lives. We spend just enough time at work to meet our needs, then desperately try to fill the void of what’s left with distracting entertainments.
What we need to do is slow down and cultivate boredom rather than avoid it. Boredom is a skill that we need to reintroduce and practice in our daily lives.
To be sure, this isn’t an easy task. Distraction is an addicting drug in its own right. Like any bad habit, we need to take it slow and progressively reintroduce boredom into our lives.
We can start with simple routines. Instead of picking up your phone first thing in the morning give yourself 10 minutes to do something slowly and mindfully. This could be meditating, reading a book, or even just taking a minute to make a mindful cup of coffee. Once this becomes a habit, find other areas in your life where you can introduce slowness.
With time, we can rebuild our capacity for boredom and turn it into fuel for the larger projects we’re striving for. Rather than railing against the idea that we have to pursue happiness, we come to find that happiness itself is found within the pursuit.
“There is a pleasure in having succeeded in enduring something the actual enduring of which was very far from pleasant; when some trouble or other comes to an end the natural thing is to be glad.”
Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
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